I’ve seen guys make this same fundamental mistake over and over again. Everywhere I go I see it happening and it sticks out like a sore thumb. What’s the mistake? Playing it safe. Even if you are advanced, to some extent you are still making this mistake with girls you find very attractive.
Let’s define some symptoms of “playing it safe” and see if this applies to you in any situations…
-having conversation that you would have with your boss. Superficial and very platonic.
-being overly polite.
-not touching or getting into her personal space.
-a lack of showing genuine interest or making any moves forward.
-answering every question she asks like you are taking a test.
-pretending you are interested in everything she says and hanging on to her every word.
-no humor or actual flirting.
The mindset behind all of these actions is “I don’t want to mess this up”. What happens when you try to not mess things up is you take actions like the ones above in order to not “rock the boat”. The problem is that you are 10 times more likely to fail by not taking any risks then you would by taking them. Playing it safe with girls will always lead to her having zero attraction for you. Best case scenario she will put you in the dreaded friend zone and you can pretend to be friends with her for years hoping one day she will change her mind about you. This is a reality of many guys.
Next time you are in a conversation with an attractive girl and you find yourself slipping into play it safe mode, you need to catch yourself and throw some hot sauce into your interaction.
Hot Sauce for play it safe interactions
-Make an obvious joke about yourself. “Just so you know I am unemployed, but don’t worry I’m 3rd cousins with the manager at Wal-Mart so you are potentially looking at the next master cart wrangler.”
-Disagree with her. Don’t be a yes man and tell her everything she says is cool or awesome. Have your own opinions and don’t be afraid to disagree with some things she says if you feel so.
-Make physical contact. Even fist bumps, high fives, and hugs can set you in the right direction.
-Verbally show interest. Tell her you find her attractive, ask for her number, make plans to meet up again. Take the lead!
The golden rule for building attraction with girls is to do the opposite of what the play it safe guy is doing. It may sound like a stretch at first, but try some of the tactics above and see the reactions you get. I know from experience they are the sure fire way to build rock solid attraction. Don’t play it safe, play to win!